Now, on this freazing N.Y. evening just when N.Yers think that they've seen the worst of winter, we walk down the street to confront what feels like taking a summit up a fucking Bohemian mountain! In this frost bitten state I find it fitting, to ask the most important question a person could ask. Whats new in the world tonight?!
Today, it has been rummored that President Obama is considering introducing peace talks into "Operation Enduring Freedom". The headline reads, "Karzai urges Taliban talks before U.S. pullout." Hamid Karzai, is the Afghanistanian president, as not to be confused with the the other Hamid Karzai. loll.. the one who did that crazy tap dance ruteen on american idol. After which, he ran off stage screaming, in tears. Later, to shoot up his dance coach in a South Harlem dance school. LOL. That so did NOT happen. I'm just bored.
Seriously though, Obama is trying to arrange peace talks in the middle east but is stalling because the Taliban's demands are too extreme. Apparently, before the Taliban is willing to sit at the negotiating table it would be nice if the U.S. releases 110,000 of their troops. A Taliban leader was quoted stating, "Its not a meaningful gesture, before negotiations can begin" LMAO. Thats gesture has no freagin meaning! LOL Lets let 110,000 Taliban troops , rome the Afghanistanian coutry side, eating felafel's and recording amateur porn. At which point they will be ready to join the negotiating table. The president must be out of his mother lovin mind! Personally, I find it admirable that President Obama is willing to EVEN IMPLY peace talks in the middle east. It takes a lot of guts to make a move like that. Imagine your in the middle of a fight. As you throw elbows, punches, kicks, occasionally bite, you to decide to say, "Ok I'm going to turn around now and walk away.......Don't do anything stupid like crack me over the head with that bottle." LOL Ques: If your in the middle of a fight and you decide to turn around and walk away. What do you think you'd get? A pat on the back or a kick to the back of the head? Unfortunately we have inherited this war. Its kind of like "The Game" inheriting the G-Unit beef..Lol Fortunately, The Game he had other plans. In any event I commend the President . Give peace a chance brother!
Later
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Jan, 29 2010
Asking, " Whats new in the world tonight?" is more boring then seeing a playboy center fold of the women Tiger Woods has in his little black bang book. No wait that would would be pretty FUN. In any event, its still a boring question but I'll still it ask just to annoy my readers. SO, Whats new in the world tonight? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Typically, tonight is when the all the juicy news, thats reported on Saturday, is actually HAPPENING! Forgive my hostility.
Today, a 70 year old woman open fired on a 34 yr old school teacher in a Salt Lake City elementary school parking lot. The school teacher (female, 34) was fatally shot and pronounced dead later that evening. Honor prevents me (lol) from finding any type of levity or humor a situation like this. I'm here to report the facts, Nothing more! Imagine its been one of those long days after teaching a room full of snot nose devil spawn future drop outs. The day is finally coming to an end. Ahhh, your so happy, you head over to your car and pull out. As you make a left into the street all you see is a 70 year old woman pointing 9mm semi-automatic handgun at you. She lets go of her orthopedic cane with the four rubber prongs at the end (you know for balance) and starts busting caps into the side of your door. What the hell is going on in the world!? There weren't to many details released by the Salt Lake City Police Department but I think its safe to assume that her grand kid didn't get get straight A's. I had a whole line of jokes about St. Peter popping jokes when the teacher reached the pearly gates. Like, " Damn, you got popped by Aunt Jamaima" Or " Ha ha that old woman died of a stroke right after took you out sucka" but again.... modesty prevents me.. Oh wait, it was honor.
Later
Asking, " Whats new in the world tonight?" is more boring then seeing a playboy center fold of the women Tiger Woods has in his little black bang book. No wait that would would be pretty FUN. In any event, its still a boring question but I'll still it ask just to annoy my readers. SO, Whats new in the world tonight? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Typically, tonight is when the all the juicy news, thats reported on Saturday, is actually HAPPENING! Forgive my hostility.
Today, a 70 year old woman open fired on a 34 yr old school teacher in a Salt Lake City elementary school parking lot. The school teacher (female, 34) was fatally shot and pronounced dead later that evening. Honor prevents me (lol) from finding any type of levity or humor a situation like this. I'm here to report the facts, Nothing more! Imagine its been one of those long days after teaching a room full of snot nose devil spawn future drop outs. The day is finally coming to an end. Ahhh, your so happy, you head over to your car and pull out. As you make a left into the street all you see is a 70 year old woman pointing 9mm semi-automatic handgun at you. She lets go of her orthopedic cane with the four rubber prongs at the end (you know for balance) and starts busting caps into the side of your door. What the hell is going on in the world!? There weren't to many details released by the Salt Lake City Police Department but I think its safe to assume that her grand kid didn't get get straight A's. I had a whole line of jokes about St. Peter popping jokes when the teacher reached the pearly gates. Like, " Damn, you got popped by Aunt Jamaima" Or " Ha ha that old woman died of a stroke right after took you out sucka" but again.... modesty prevents me.. Oh wait, it was honor.
Later
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Whats new in the world
Jan, 28, 2010
SO, President Barack Obama Delivered his First State of the Union address today. The speech was about 70 minutes long. Apparently he was being criticized for this. I thought I saw Clarence Thomas dozing off there for a minute. No, wait he's on the Supreme Court. My bad. The president touched on topics like, Health Care, the economy, the economy and health care. He also spoke about........Health care and the economy. As the countries economy plummets into A great Depression and Health Care is being abused left and right, to his critics I have one thing to say. Be happy he didn't Catch the Holy Ghost. Now, you all may think this is a racist joke, but I contend that it IS NOT. Its a Pentecostal joke. LOL I'm actually pro Obama. I don't particular care for his name...But whats in a name? Just cause his last name rhymes with Osama, (the Taliban Leader) and his middle name is Hussein, (The Late Iraqi Dictator) doesn't make him a bad man. Give the guy a break, so what if he has purple lips he's still cool in my book. Then again after Bush being president Gary Coleman could do a better job.
As you may or may not know J.D. Salinger has died today. He's the guy who wrote the timeless classic Catcher in the Rye. He was 91. Apparently he died of natural causes. First, I give my condolences to Mr. Salinger's family, friends and fans. I had to read Catcher in the Rye in H.S. Let me re-phrase that, I tried to read Catcher in the Rye in H.S. Honestly, I thought the name of the book was Cather AND the Rye. My bad J.D. I do know that it had something to do with this girl who falls in love with a vampire who then leaves her becuz he doesn't want to hurt her (typical) only to flirt with this American Indian kid (with a six pack and new hair cut) who turns into what looks like an Alaskan Mali mu...oh my bad that's New Moon. Again, my bad J.D. From a statement released by his literary agent J.D. had broken his hip earlier this year...(Uh, how much earlier could it have been, we're only 28 days into 2010) recovered, then died later of natural causes. Question: How many 91 year olds actually recover from a hip injury? Unless, your wolverine, with an animatium skeleton it was lights out for J.D. the moment he tumbled off his supped up Jazzy. RIP Brother.
On a lighter note, The AP Grammy nominations are in... The contestants are............for lack of a drum roll I use dots..............Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift. Beyonce is being nominated for best song "Halo" Never heard it. Taylor Swift for Best new artist and best song, "You belong to Me" Never heard it. And Lady Gaga for best song, "Poker Face" Never heard it. You may be asking yourself, "Where the hell have you been Matt, hiding under a rock somewhere?" To this I reply, "Yea" I've been listening to stupid artist like Frank Sinatra, Etta James and The Beatles. They didn't win Grammies, did they? Ol Blue Eyes and Etta must be rolling over in their graves. I guess, In a world where Lil Wayne aka Weazy aka Wayne aka Birdman Jr. can win two Grammies, what do you expect? Let me stop, I actually love Lil Wayne. Young Money rules! The Grammies can be rather boring so in the off chance Taylor Swift wins I hope Kanye West runs on stage, steals her Grammy, gives it to Beyonce and says. "You know you deserve this Ma" At which point Jay-Z will punch him in the grill and say, "Why you hittin on my woman son!"
Later.
SO, President Barack Obama Delivered his First State of the Union address today. The speech was about 70 minutes long. Apparently he was being criticized for this. I thought I saw Clarence Thomas dozing off there for a minute. No, wait he's on the Supreme Court. My bad. The president touched on topics like, Health Care, the economy, the economy and health care. He also spoke about........Health care and the economy. As the countries economy plummets into A great Depression and Health Care is being abused left and right, to his critics I have one thing to say. Be happy he didn't Catch the Holy Ghost. Now, you all may think this is a racist joke, but I contend that it IS NOT. Its a Pentecostal joke. LOL I'm actually pro Obama. I don't particular care for his name...But whats in a name? Just cause his last name rhymes with Osama, (the Taliban Leader) and his middle name is Hussein, (The Late Iraqi Dictator) doesn't make him a bad man. Give the guy a break, so what if he has purple lips he's still cool in my book. Then again after Bush being president Gary Coleman could do a better job.
As you may or may not know J.D. Salinger has died today. He's the guy who wrote the timeless classic Catcher in the Rye. He was 91. Apparently he died of natural causes. First, I give my condolences to Mr. Salinger's family, friends and fans. I had to read Catcher in the Rye in H.S. Let me re-phrase that, I tried to read Catcher in the Rye in H.S. Honestly, I thought the name of the book was Cather AND the Rye. My bad J.D. I do know that it had something to do with this girl who falls in love with a vampire who then leaves her becuz he doesn't want to hurt her (typical) only to flirt with this American Indian kid (with a six pack and new hair cut) who turns into what looks like an Alaskan Mali mu...oh my bad that's New Moon. Again, my bad J.D. From a statement released by his literary agent J.D. had broken his hip earlier this year...(Uh, how much earlier could it have been, we're only 28 days into 2010) recovered, then died later of natural causes. Question: How many 91 year olds actually recover from a hip injury? Unless, your wolverine, with an animatium skeleton it was lights out for J.D. the moment he tumbled off his supped up Jazzy. RIP Brother.
On a lighter note, The AP Grammy nominations are in... The contestants are............for lack of a drum roll I use dots..............Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift. Beyonce is being nominated for best song "Halo" Never heard it. Taylor Swift for Best new artist and best song, "You belong to Me" Never heard it. And Lady Gaga for best song, "Poker Face" Never heard it. You may be asking yourself, "Where the hell have you been Matt, hiding under a rock somewhere?" To this I reply, "Yea" I've been listening to stupid artist like Frank Sinatra, Etta James and The Beatles. They didn't win Grammies, did they? Ol Blue Eyes and Etta must be rolling over in their graves. I guess, In a world where Lil Wayne aka Weazy aka Wayne aka Birdman Jr. can win two Grammies, what do you expect? Let me stop, I actually love Lil Wayne. Young Money rules! The Grammies can be rather boring so in the off chance Taylor Swift wins I hope Kanye West runs on stage, steals her Grammy, gives it to Beyonce and says. "You know you deserve this Ma" At which point Jay-Z will punch him in the grill and say, "Why you hittin on my woman son!"
Later.
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